so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
