Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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