WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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