after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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