not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dear god my vagina.
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