508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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