Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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