and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
