If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
