i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
