pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
