Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize