He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
