Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
