I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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