I want to stick my p in your. b.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
