how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
