why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How does one acquire holy water?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
