dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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