the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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