So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
