She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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