You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize