ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
