my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
