Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She's the barista slut.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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