It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
