don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
