fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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