i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
