I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
