After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
