Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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