Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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