You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
