i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
