I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
