Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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