Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
