That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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