Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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