that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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