none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm going to jail i love you
only if we run a train.
done.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize