Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
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