is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
