she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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