The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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