I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
