SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize