oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
