did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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