is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize