i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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