ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
