I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
