Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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