as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
