You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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