Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize