We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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