i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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