You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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