Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize