...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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