Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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