This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize