I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
