carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
