Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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